Date Night During Mesothelioma Treatment
Whether date night was weekly or something saved for special occasions such as anniversaries or holidays like Valentine’s Day and New Year’s, it can be challenging to keep these events going after a mesothelioma diagnosis. It’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking mesothelioma has taken away everything that feels normal in your life with your partner, including your date night traditions.
Date nights are opportunities to honor each other with affection, notes of adoration or gifts. You may have planned romantic weekend getaways or gone out for fancy dinners on date nights. Maybe before your mesothelioma diagnosis you went to the theater, concerts or museums.
You may not have the budget, energy or appetite to participate in your usual date night activities right now if you’re also dealing with mesothelioma. However, you and your partner can still find ways to make time for each other and meaningfully express your love even if one of you is coping with a diagnosis.
It helps to consider what is meaningful to each of you in terms of expressing and receiving love. We’re all different. Some people enjoy physical affection, gifts, loving words or enjoying a special meal together.
Adapting Your Date Night Plans
You and your partner may love eating out together at your favorite restaurant, for example. But you may be concerned about crowds on weekends, holidays or other busy times. Your immune system may be compromised from mesothelioma treatment or the cancer itself.
In addition to concerns about germs, crowds can be emotionally draining. This can be particularly challenging when you’re feeling fatigued or experiencing other challenging mesothelioma symptoms.
Rather than avoid going out, you can always go out to restaurants together when they’re less likely to be busy. If you aren’t feeling well, you can always get takeout from a restaurant or make a special meal at home and eat by candlelight.
Caregiving: Rekindling Romance
Sometimes couples shift their roles to being a caregiver and patient when mesothelioma comes into their lives. Romance may then be put on the back burner.
Fatigue and muscle weakness from mesothelioma can make going out dancing or participating in other activities challenging. The physical demands of caregiving can also be exhausting.
However, exercise for mesothelioma can be the best medicine for tiredness. And it can be a great way to connect with your partner.
Go for a walk and hold hands. Give one another a backrub. It can be easy to forget to hold hands or give each other hugs and kisses when you’re caregiving or going through treatment, but date night is a great opportunity to reconnect physically.
Keep Making Date Night Plans
Some people with mesothelioma say the uncertainty of their illness makes them feel that they can make any plans for their future. But that can mean putting your hopes and dreams on hold indefinitely.
It’s good to talk about what you would like to do as a couple in the next few months or years. Having a serious diagnosis like mesothelioma can lead to a re-evaluation of life goals and hope for the future. Date night can be a time to allow each other to reflect on those changes.
Think Outside the Box for Date Night
You may not be able to or want to take part in your usual date night activities if you’re dealing with mesothelioma treatment. But you have an opportunity to explore what is meaningful to you and your loved one.
Be open to trying something different. Then you can still have a romantic time with your partner and keep your relationship strong.