Benefits of Mesothelioma Survivors Asking for Help
Health & Wellness
Written by Dana Nolan, MS, LMHC | Edited By Amy Edel
It can be challenging to ask for help when as a society we often prioritize self-sufficiency above self-care. However, there can be serious downsides to not accepting help, particularly for mesothelioma survivors.
Trying to do too much physically after a procedure or mesothelioma surgery can cause you harm. If you don’t follow your healthcare team’s recommendations to avoid driving or lifting heavy items, it can cause complications and a longer recovery time.
If you use your limited energy doing chores like laundry, mowing the lawn or running errands, you may feel too fatigued to do anything fun or meaningful with your family and friends. Asking for help can free you to spend your time and energy more impactfully.
We’ve previously talked about effective ways people looking for ways to support loved ones can offer help to caregivers. You likely have people in your life who can and want to help you as well.
Identifying Challenges Making Asking for and Accept Help Difficult
Identifying the negative thoughts and feelings that can become obstacles to us reaching out for help can help us overcome them. Many people struggle with asking for help when they need it.
Many of us aren’t comfortable being vulnerable or dependent on others. Of course, it feels better to be healthy and independent rather than feeling sick and requiring assistance with tasks.
Some people may hold beliefs about the importance of being self-reliant. We may even have heard others speak negatively about people who are ill or might need support. Discourse around experiencing health issues can too often lack compassion, leading people diagnosed with mesothelioma to feel negatively about needing support or help with mental health, financial assistance or physical care.
Overcoming Barriers to Asking for Help
A good place to start overcoming the obstacles that may be stopping you from asking for or accepting help is to explore your personal beliefs. What does it mean to you to accept help? Do you have negative thoughts or feelings when you imagine yourself asking for help from your family or friends?
Taking the following into consideration may help you challenge negative thoughts about receiving help:
- Would you want your best friend to feel badly about needing or accepting help if they were sick?
- Would you think a loved one is weak if they asked for help?
- Healthy relationships are usually balanced between both giving and receiving help or support.
- Accepting help now may help you return to being more independent down the road.
- Asking for help can actually be empowering as we recognize what we need and tap into our resources to get it.
Often we have more compassion and understanding for our loved ones than we do for ourselves. It can help to flip the situation in our minds and think about how we’d respond if someone we care about was coping with a mesothelioma diagnosis.
If you’ve been the one to provide a lot of help and support to your loved ones, it can also be a meaningful opportunity for them to thank you for your help through helping you. Relationships feel better and are healthier when they’re balanced over time.
It can also be beneficial to see your need for help as temporary. As you recover from your mesothelioma treatment, you may need less help going forward.
Areas Where Support May Be Beneficial
Mesothelioma can be quite challenging physically, emotionally, financially and cognitively. Both treatment and symptoms of the disease itself can cause fatigue. Assistance with daily tasks can help you conserve your energy.
Particularly if you’ve just had major surgery like hyperthermic intraperitoneal chemotherapy or pleurectomy/decortication, it’s likely you’ll need assistance cooking, walking, getting dressed and many other activities of daily living as you recover. Fatigue from chemotherapy or immunotherapy may deplete the energy you’d need to mow the lawn, do laundry, cook, shop or do other chores.
“Chemo brain” is a real phenomenon that can impact your ability to organize your thoughts and remember to complete tasks. It can be helpful to have support keeping appointments, tracking and taking medications and organizing household details.
It’s also common to feel symptoms of anxiety, sadness, grief or anger during the mesothelioma experience. You may benefit from support groups or counseling.
The high cost of cancer treatment impacts many mesothelioma survivors. Lost wages, travel expenses and other costs can also create a financial strain. Great sources of support include family, friends, neighbors, co-workers, your medical team and Patient Advocates at The Mesothelioma Center. The people in your life who care about you will likely feel honored to play an active role in your life as you battle mesothelioma.
